Every woman in the world knows the feeling you get, when once a month your period arrives unexpectedly and you race to the bathroom, throw open the cupboard and find the box bare! Now, usually, most women have reinforcments of some kind, somewhere, so as to not be stuck without anything, but my sister takes things to the extreme and will not be without at least 5 boxes at any given time due to some unhealthy terror at the idea of being without.
Now, sister not only has and hoardes her tampons about the restroom and house, but keeps the closest watch over them. She's like the Fort Knox of vaginal plugs. This woman will literally give you her last dime and not think twice about it, but if you think for one bloody second that she would pry a card board applicator from her grubby hand in the middle of a flow emergency, your going to be one messy lass. So, you can imagine her shock this week to find that her two daughters and assorted slew of reprobate friends and relatives had thwarted her best efforts and pried the bottom flap of each of her 5 boxes, sneaking out the amount they needed and shoving the box back on the shelf empty. I was sitting on the sofa with her teen son when we heard the most unholy of snarls erupt from the bathroom. You'd have thought someone blew their nose on her wedding gown, the disgust that was coming from those grunts and hollers. Nearly an hour later, she emerged from the bathroom red-faced and completely silent. She refused to talk to any of us for over a week. Literally, did not speak to us- not even her girls!
We were sitting in the front yard one morning, the girls surrounded by the current crop of teen boys jockeying for a spot, and my cousins boss was there, when we heard the window to the upstairs bedroom open and saw sis's head poke out. She's got this grinchy smile on her face and pops back inside..a moment later a huge box tips over the ledge and hundreds of tampons come raining down on the assorted hangers about in the yard. Sister is laughing her ass off upstairs and as she shuts the window says. " That'll teach you bitches to touch my stuff."
Never mess with a neurotic tampon hoarder.
Hoosier~